February 2011
My heart really hurts. My head really hurts.
I was told everything would be okay, but I just don’t see that happening anytime soon.
ericaaaaaa- asked: I love you!!!
The one thing he told me never to do to him, he did to me.
Forever alone
January 2011
I cannot deal with all of this right now. I’m back in the same boat I was in last week, only this week I’m sick too. You know that saying, if you love something, let it go…? Well maybe that is what I need to do. It doesn’t look too promising right now. I guess I will give it a little more time.
2 tags
That’s cool. You can ignore me.
Sucks missing someone and not knowing if they feel the same.
Being sick is wearing me out. I’m not even all that sick. It is mostly just a sore throat, but I’m incredibly tired and it is only 11. I’ve seriously been awake for like 14 hours, and I’m already ready to pass out. With the exception of being sick, I’m having a pretty good weekend. Tomorrow will be both awesome and sad all at the same time. We’re going ice...
Day 15 - Best thing to happen to you this week
Well, Thursday morning, Katie flew to Wisconsin and we’ve been hanging out since.
According to my scale, I’ve dropped about 7 pounds this week… I’m not entirely sure my scale is accurate, but I will take it.
I feel so beyond gross right now. I feel like I have a golf ball lodged in my throat. I’m incredibly weak. I feel like if I stand up, I will collapse. I’ve been freezing all day. This sucks man. A lot. I already had to give up a show tonight. I hope I can get up enough strength to enjoy the rest of the weekend. I’m going to go to bed soon. I’m just waiting for Chris to...
Day 14 - Something disgusting to you
There was this kid in the 4th grade class I was an aide in five years ago that would always flip his eyelids so you could see the inside of them. That was so gross. Also, when people purposely like pop their thumb out of its socket, that is disgusting too.
This bottle better freaking put him to sleep. I can’t deal with this.
Days like today suck so miserably. I want to see chris. I want to just talk to him and hug him. I will settle for just texting but he won’t respond. Gibson will not stop crying. He wants me to walk around with him. I physically do not have the strength to do that right now. So he is laying in bed crying because there is nothing I can do. I feel like shit. If I didn’t need the money I...
Day 13 - A date you would love to go on
I was going to say that I’d be happy with anything really as long as I got to spend some time with Chris, but that’s not true. I wouldn’t want to go out drinking or anything. We do that enough. Ideally, I would like it to be romantic, just the two of us, where I can just feel his love. I want to be completely happy the entire time....
Day 12 - Things you want to say to an ex
Leave me the eff alone. I don’t like you.
“You say “potato”. I say “topato”.”
– Keith
w00t Kasey wins because she is my 69th follower :D
Days like today make me almost wish chris and I lived together or at least really close. I hate not being able to see him because by the time he gets off work and I get to his house, we have no time together. It sucks. I really just need him right now.
Complaining
Today sucked. Babysitting was not good. My back hurts because of it. I felt like puking all morning. My internet will not connect at all. I am 99.9% positive I have to pay money this year for taxes. My bank account is currently negative because yet another babysitting check came back for not have enough funds. I spilled 3/4 of my dinner on the carpet and it was pasta and tomato sauce. The carpet...
My stomach hurts so bad right now. I feel like I’m going to throw up and that isn’t good. I still have five hours left of watching the kids. I can’t be puking. Katie is coming tomorrow too and I don’t want to feel like shit while she is here.
So this family I babysit for has friends from kentucky and their family is visiting. There are six extra people in this house, plus me and the two kids. It is really awkward for me, especially because emma and gibson are still sleeping. Luckily though, they are leaving sometime this morning.
I have so many thoughts going through my head and I need to sleep. I’m really excited and lonely and happy. Right now though, I wish the brain had a power switch.
I could really use a cuddle buddy right now. Too bad mine is at home in his bed, 45 minutes away. This distance thing really sucks. It isn’t even that far either.
ericaaaaaa- asked: Ooh! I really like that quote. =]
I’m a paranoid person. Seriously. He was never mad at me. He thought I was insanely pissed so he wanted to give me some space. He was going to call me last night before bed but he ended up falling asleep right when he got home from work, which doesn’t surprise me. He is the type who can pass out in less than five minutes. He called me when he left work today after reading the...
Great. Now my mom is asking if Chris and I are still fighting. Of course we aren’t fighting. To fight, you kind of need to be speaking to each other. He is ignoring me. There is no fight there.
I want my next tattoo soooo bad. Someone please fund this for me?
Na na na na I could do this forever Na na na na Make or break, we'll take this together Na na na na You'll be my change for the better Maybe for a while Scratch that, forever
Also, I know you guys are probably sick of hearing about it, but I really hope I hear from chris soon. Tonight would be nice.
I’m backing up all my pictures, videos, and music on a hard drive so I can completely wipe my computer. There is way too much crap on my computer that I’m hoping will speed up once I clear it. It is seriously so slow.
2 tags
And I never thought that you’d leave me here...
Day 11 - Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.
Well, I’m with Chris but our relationship is a tad bit rocky at the moment. I posted a nice long blog about it yesterday. Check that shit out of you are really curious.
When I realize that I don't mean as much to...
drapetomania:
imjustkt asked: Why the fuck does he think he has the right to treat you like that? I'm sorry, but I'm glad I'm not gonna see him this weekend.. because I would treat him to some words.
Took three tries, but I finally got that last post hidden. Gosh. I hate tumblr sometimes.
I’m so frustrated with Chris right now. Back in November, he stopped talking to me for a week because of some stupid shit. We had this big discussion and worked things out. Now, he’s ignoring me again. This was the text conversation we had last night, after I told him I wasn’t coming over to his house because the Packers won the game and he wouldn’t stop texting me after...
ericaaaaaa- asked: Also, all the messages I left you make me sound like I'm drunk all the time hahaha. I really don't drink that often. Just sayin'. <3